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Welcome Wisdom Seekers!
Man, It's hot! Here in Kansas that means combines are busy cutting our amber waves of grain, and clogging the highways and byways with grain trucks and custom cutting crews. GottaLove It! If you're in the business of selling parts for farm-related equipment--- Congratulations! Our phone has been ringing off the hook and we don't have a baler to our name, so we know your business must be great!

Speaking of phones, we know it's hard to find the perfect message for your answering machine/voice mail and we'd like to help. Here are some of our favorites. They range from the really mean to the really silly. Feel free to use them or let us know your own creative solutions...

LEAVE YOUR MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP

  • Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?
  • Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
  • Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
  • You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your will power and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.
  • I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your name and number, I will get back to you when I am.
  • We know we're hopelessly twisted, but that last one just cracks us up! If you're about to crack up, try some of the following sure-fire ways to annoy everyone during this long, hot summer.

    YOU CAN ANNOY SOME OF THE PEOPLE SOME OF THE TIME
    AND SOME OF THE PEOPLE ALL OF THE TIME, BUT YOU
    CAN'T ANNOY ALL OF THE PEOPLE ALL OF THE TIME.
    OH YEAH? TRY THESE...
  • Drum on every available surface.
  • Staple papers in the middle of the page.
  • Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
  • Wear your pants backwards. (Sounds like self-annoyance)
  • Pay for everything with pennies.
  • Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. (We thought this was a law! Here in Kansas, everyone drives with their turn signals on for miles and miles and miles... It's kinda like having the radio on, nice beat, you could dance to it)
  • Pretend your computer mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
  • Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think."
  • Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September. (We are amazed anyone would consider this annoying)
  • Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy"
  • Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about psychological profiles.
  • Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
  • Construct your own tricorder, and scan people with it, announcing the results.
  • Well, that's it for another Week of Wisdom, in accordance with prophecy. If you'd like to be a Wisdom Seeker and receive our weekly e-mail, click here. Give us your e-mail address and tell us you need the Wisdom---we'll do the rest in accordance with prophecy.

    Call Weller Tractor Salvage
    Your Source For Construction Equipment Parts --- New Used & Rebuilt
    We Specialize in Motor Grader Parts
    1-800-255-9325
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